"In his Micromegas Voltaire has an immensely wise alien come to visit earth. He has dozens of senses and can thus perceive much more of reality than humans can. He comes from a race devoted to the acquisiton of wisdom and that lives thousands of years. On leaving earth, he leaves philosophers there a book containing all the knowledge that can ever be gained about the pure and ultimate nature of things. It has only blank pages."
open letter, s.o.c.: looking back it was a reset button. like tilt on the old pinball games maybe not sure what tilt was about but the jeep had reached that point where gravity takes over. and you climb out the passenger window and the mangled innards are smoking and glunking fluids toxic rainbow rivulets and youre not in the least interested in jacking the shit back upright. you walk. and the world is more real without the cage of what went before. and i sincerely dont give a f**k what y'all are thinking. ye without sin and all that, dig.
this is carte blanche tabula rasa chapter one chapter and verse of whoever it is i am and dont ask me. one ticket. keep this coupon. those last seven breaths remember theres no do-over. live. what did goethe say had magic in it? i for one from now on plan to live my life. laugh and dance and one hand waving free, all that. the mojo hat of wendy rover. shooting stars. for me breathing is a goddamn miracle and i plan to treat it that way. y'all looking at me down your clean noses. who are you? why are you wasting your life judging me? thats another thing. like sister becky say. no judge. no judge. any of you catch me judging you call me on it. i find myself intact after this neardeath crash and burn of everything that meant anything to me ever and im going to sanctify this second act with all i got. so if theres no smile on your face when you and i behold then ill just walk on by. you have every right to choose how to honor the blood and breath and vibe of your life. if its safe behind walls, i hope you paint them prettier on the inside than they seem on the out. i got this here man and he chose Love. he took a damn deep bet on me and for that i am grateful, ever and after. maybe not on me, but on something out there over the wall take a chance on. open your heart. ride til gravity takes over and realize the worlds worth more with you in it. blessed be.
you and I have been one,
and the distance between us is only a flash of thought."
as the splendid orb of the moon begins her wane, theres a palpable relief within the bounds of this form. as if the power oppressed me, a lunatic, my waters drawn against skin unbearable bloat of the drowned. some lunar manacle unlocked, blood feeding starved steppe of flesh spring rain relief inhalation cessation of frustration and disgust. of late felt so unwell, and this morning find the incubus fled on ragged stinking wings the sunlight bright across the broad bedframe allowing me a lightness far too long foreign from me. inspired enough to dig dandelions from the the garden, life seems entirely manageable again, or for once. and a sign of the turning tide last night the appearance of my lost witches star, lost before i left, another sign of folly fate even Charlotte had something to say. after weeks the windows open again, late april winds through the rooms the smell of blossoms and grass, occasional scarves of smoke from small sweetwood brushfires or the deep ripe of manure (consider for a moment the beautiful perfect earth clockwork of a cow).
"Salvation does not come through simplicities."
"To correct a natural indifference I was placed half-way between misery and the sun. Misery kept me from believing that all was well under the sun, and the sun taught me that history wasn’t everything."
i was thinking i should write something else and then realized hey thats just another shoulda im enforcing. letting go is a second by second enterprise.
" """Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck."
ten for today:
1. thank you, Charlotte. ill take this as a sign.
3. feeling good again
6. a fine walk and looking forward to more
7. "we must live our own experience. we cannot inherit it."
8. the endless insight of the blogosphere
9. the things i thought looking at this