Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances.”

05 May 2009



the cards say hired in september. its been cool and grey, good transplanting weather, good getting the seeds in weather. but not so good lets get germinating weather and the presage is for rain. collards, crucifers, root crops, peas. i bet on dill, cosmos, borage surviving late spring travails in upstate ny. holding back on the customary spring perennial binge until whats there already comes together to show. midsummer will bring a price-reduced flower-grouting of the beds back and front. watching with bright curiosity at the evolution of things i couldnt identify but didnt eradicate wholesale...its not grass or dandelions, lets wait and see.



after the sudden and brutal thinning of the herd i reclaim authority and the effect is remarkable. a vital part of coming into my own. these dogs my life spirit out before me. and i can stand in the cart like a Freyja with her cats and they will go whither she wishes. i am altogether finding my place in the pack, in the world, in my own life. spring this year is a wake-up call for us all.



the lilacs appear of a sudden, their deeply beloved old-woman smell clings in the cavities behind the bones of my head. i go out in the early morning to commune, dogs in the dew, making note of what is growing and what is gone. i go to bed each night looking forward to the morning. to lying in bed in the new world listening to all the birds. i look forward to my life, look down the path with curiosity and wonder. and forgiving myself for taking so long to get here.

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Blessed Be.

"And if the question were asked: What is more real, the mundane or the sublime? most would hesitate before they gave an answer. On the one side, details: say, the aftermath of a breakfast, dirty chipped plates in the sink, their rims encrusted with egg yolk. Against this, the unnameable: small aching heart with boasts, what can you know? Outside the cage of everything we ever heard or saw, beyond, outside, above, there lies the real, hiding as long as we shall live, there stretch and trail the millions of names of God burning across the eons. When all through this our end will come before we even know the names of us.

For many the egg yolk prevails." -L.M.

"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well."
-V.V.G.

"The perfection of the Absolute where all Becoming stops and pure Being, immutable, timeless, unchanging, hangs forever like a ripe peach upon the bough." -E.A.

"...and the whole incident was incredibly frazzling and angst-rod and filled almost a whole mead notebook and is here recounted in only its barest psycho-skeletal outline." -D.F.W.

"At the top of the mountain, we are all snow leopards." -H.S.T.

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." -D.T.
"Cometh a voice: My children, hear; From the crowded street and the close-packed mart I call you back with my message clear, back to my lap and my loving heart. Long have ye left me, journeying on by range and river and grassy plain, to the teeming towns where the rest have gone - come back, come back to my arms again. So shall ye lose the foolish needs that gnaw your souls; and my touch shall serve to heal the fretted nerve. Treading the turf that ye once loved well, instead of the stones of the city's street, ye shall hear nor din nor drunken yell, but the wind that croons in the ripening wheat. I that am old have seen long since ruin of palaces made with hands for the soldier-king and the priest and prince whose cities crumble in desert sands. But still the furrow in many a clime yields softly under the ploughman's feet; still there is seeding and harvest time, and the wind still croons in the ripening wheat. The works of man are but little worth; for a time they stand, for a space endure; but turn once more to your mother - Earth, my gifts are gracious, my works are sure. Instead of the strife and pain I give you peace, with its blessing sweet. Come back, come back to my arms again, for the wind still croons in the ripening wheat."
-John Sandes, The Earth-Mother (excerpt, 1918)