Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances.”

14 January 2009



"...to be incorruptibly true to myself/and fair to others,/to find in this way/the right measure/of my own worth."




Cold, and ive started answering the phone, but im not jazzed about it. shut my mouth and call me pavlovs dog. bought chikn-n-fixins one town over and it seems like all the women i talk to are becoming massage therapists. this happened in the early nineties, too. those massage therapist women have all moved to the west coast to pursue more lucrative tomorrows without the carpal tunnel. i love my dogs. i love gary paulsen because he loves his dogs, and he understands that he doesnt understand but he wants to understand. gotta keep the channel open. burnt #2 another disc and he left with high-carbon-footprint fruit, somewhere theres a bowl to put it in. that awesome vintage wooden fruit bowl on the wooden bead feet and i gave it away because thats what you need to do. give it away. give away the fruit and books and all the light and energy i hold in my heart. give it away. but the channel needs to be open to receive. my eyes are tired and im flannel-brained from my nightly cabernet night-cap but i just started another load and need to empty the dish drain and prompt coffee for the morrow. were a funny couple. an old couple. and hell or high water well make the summer hootenanny well stocked, the color of the sun.

14 of 465:

1. Hot Water Bottles with Homemade Cozies.
2. Gary Paulsen Books.
3. The Second Son.
4. Striding Through the Cold, Noticing Things.
5. The Hearth.
6. My Atlantis Stone.
7. Tom Waits.
8. Dancing.
9. Fruit.



"Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun."
"And if the question were asked: What is more real, the mundane or the sublime? most would hesitate before they gave an answer. On the one side, details: say, the aftermath of a breakfast, dirty chipped plates in the sink, their rims encrusted with egg yolk. Against this, the unnameable: small aching heart with boasts, what can you know? Outside the cage of everything we ever heard or saw, beyond, outside, above, there lies the real, hiding as long as we shall live, there stretch and trail the millions of names of God burning across the eons. When all through this our end will come before we even know the names of us.

For many the egg yolk prevails." -L.M.

"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well."
-V.V.G.

"The perfection of the Absolute where all Becoming stops and pure Being, immutable, timeless, unchanging, hangs forever like a ripe peach upon the bough." -E.A.

"...and the whole incident was incredibly frazzling and angst-rod and filled almost a whole mead notebook and is here recounted in only its barest psycho-skeletal outline." -D.F.W.

"At the top of the mountain, we are all snow leopards." -H.S.T.

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." -D.T.
"Cometh a voice: My children, hear; From the crowded street and the close-packed mart I call you back with my message clear, back to my lap and my loving heart. Long have ye left me, journeying on by range and river and grassy plain, to the teeming towns where the rest have gone - come back, come back to my arms again. So shall ye lose the foolish needs that gnaw your souls; and my touch shall serve to heal the fretted nerve. Treading the turf that ye once loved well, instead of the stones of the city's street, ye shall hear nor din nor drunken yell, but the wind that croons in the ripening wheat. I that am old have seen long since ruin of palaces made with hands for the soldier-king and the priest and prince whose cities crumble in desert sands. But still the furrow in many a clime yields softly under the ploughman's feet; still there is seeding and harvest time, and the wind still croons in the ripening wheat. The works of man are but little worth; for a time they stand, for a space endure; but turn once more to your mother - Earth, my gifts are gracious, my works are sure. Instead of the strife and pain I give you peace, with its blessing sweet. Come back, come back to my arms again, for the wind still croons in the ripening wheat."
-John Sandes, The Earth-Mother (excerpt, 1918)