Longing, we say, because desire is full
of endless distances.”

07 April 2008


J.K. Commandment #14: Like Proust be an old teahead of time.
“There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.” Breathe. It surprises me when someone comes near, peeking into the house through windows knocking wondering who is about why would they? i ask myself, completely unconnected to the idea that i am worth knowing. because who they find is a house with the valuables locked away and the key is under a rock behind a painting in the garden between the rows the third drawer on the left in a velvet box nailed shut. the cookies and tea come out the wide eyes open hands but theres a ghost over my shoulder a rapping at the cellar door. let me turn the music up dance a little im a mother quail flailing stalling calling out no one here to know. but she says we and i say who? ive never been a we ive never. breathe. it comes together the threads the places and names the reasons why. i learn as i go sitting quietly trying to remember where i left it locked it away up out of reach trying to remember not to turn my head too quickly but shes out there on the weedy walk wondering where i am. it seems there cannot be a we without a me so i better get to remembering where it was i left me so long ago and i am not afraid because what i locked away is not bread or butter paper or thread i cannot be discovered with horror mouldering away like a body it is not body or blood or brain it is imperishable it sings quietly to itself in its dark place with infinite patience because it knows what i am only learning: that she and i are a we there is no one without the other and so long as i breathe she will wait and one day i hope i will remember and i will be we with him and her and the whole world i will be we and me completely.

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Blessed Be.

"And if the question were asked: What is more real, the mundane or the sublime? most would hesitate before they gave an answer. On the one side, details: say, the aftermath of a breakfast, dirty chipped plates in the sink, their rims encrusted with egg yolk. Against this, the unnameable: small aching heart with boasts, what can you know? Outside the cage of everything we ever heard or saw, beyond, outside, above, there lies the real, hiding as long as we shall live, there stretch and trail the millions of names of God burning across the eons. When all through this our end will come before we even know the names of us.

For many the egg yolk prevails." -L.M.

"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well."
-V.V.G.

"The perfection of the Absolute where all Becoming stops and pure Being, immutable, timeless, unchanging, hangs forever like a ripe peach upon the bough." -E.A.

"...and the whole incident was incredibly frazzling and angst-rod and filled almost a whole mead notebook and is here recounted in only its barest psycho-skeletal outline." -D.F.W.

"At the top of the mountain, we are all snow leopards." -H.S.T.

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." -D.T.
"Cometh a voice: My children, hear; From the crowded street and the close-packed mart I call you back with my message clear, back to my lap and my loving heart. Long have ye left me, journeying on by range and river and grassy plain, to the teeming towns where the rest have gone - come back, come back to my arms again. So shall ye lose the foolish needs that gnaw your souls; and my touch shall serve to heal the fretted nerve. Treading the turf that ye once loved well, instead of the stones of the city's street, ye shall hear nor din nor drunken yell, but the wind that croons in the ripening wheat. I that am old have seen long since ruin of palaces made with hands for the soldier-king and the priest and prince whose cities crumble in desert sands. But still the furrow in many a clime yields softly under the ploughman's feet; still there is seeding and harvest time, and the wind still croons in the ripening wheat. The works of man are but little worth; for a time they stand, for a space endure; but turn once more to your mother - Earth, my gifts are gracious, my works are sure. Instead of the strife and pain I give you peace, with its blessing sweet. Come back, come back to my arms again, for the wind still croons in the ripening wheat."
-John Sandes, The Earth-Mother (excerpt, 1918)